Genre: Fantasy, action, adventure
Director/s: Jonathan Liebesman
Running Time: 99 mins
Budget: $150 million
Released: 30 March 2012
Perseus braves the treacherous underworld to rescue his father, Zeus, captured by his son, Ares, and brother Hades who unleash the ancient Titans upon the world – imdb
Some readers may remember my Clash of the Titans review back in 2010, the film was a shit-fest train wreck and despite that somehow someone saw fit to make a sequel. It confuses me when filmmakers actually believe that they can make a successful sequel from a lackluster first entry, though all things considering, Clash of the Titans did make $493 million worldwide, but then again audiences didn’t really know what to expect. In comparison, Wrath of the Titans grossed $301 million – notably less than its predecessor which is understandable since it’s a sequel and people knew what to expect.
As bad as the first film was, Wrath of the Titans somehow manages to be better and worse than its predecessor simultaneously, undoubtedly a feat worthy of the gods and I shall explain to you exactly how this is achieved.
Firstly, to fully comprehend this film’s absolute level of fail, one needs to acknowledge that Wrath of the Titans is a sequel to a film that was a remake of the 1981 film – Clash of the Titans, which was an adaptation of the myth of Perseus *phew*. So already, viewers know that they’re in for a world of hurt with this one. The 2010 adaptation was only loosely based on the myth of Perseus to begin with, making up for its complete lack of substance with special effects, popular actors and a shitty converted 3D treatment – all the ingredients required to dupe the contemporary movie-goer into watching a piece-of-shit movie. When I say that Wrath is better than Clash, it’s only because this sequel manages to do everything the predecessor did, but prettier. That’s right, the mechanical (as in dull) special effects have been replaced with slightly better mechanical special effects and yeah…that’s about it really.
I shall now do a breakdown explaining exactly why Wrath of the Titans fails so hard. Firstly, the film is set ten years after its predecessor, Sam Worthington returns as the demigod Perseus, son of Zeus (Liam Neeson) who has turned down his birthright of joining his father on Mount Olympus as a god and has instead settled down in a small village as a fisherman with his 10-year-old son, Helius. So already we have our first bullshit stereotype >> the reluctant hero. In the same fashion as Clash of the Titans, pacing means nothing to the filmmakers as within the first ten minutes, all hell breaks loose and our ‘reluctant’ hero dusts off the old sword and armour to combat a Chimera that attacks the village melting anything that moves. Perseus who’s chosen a ‘peaceful life’ just happens to keep his gear and deftly slay the beast even after a ten year break from combat. Worthington abandons the shaved head in favour of a ridiculous ‘fro’ and, as the film progresses, seems to abandon his Australian accent as well, how normal! Within minutes of slaying the beast, the ‘reluctant’ hero has already summoned Pegasus (who has obviously been hanging around for a decade for just such an event) and proceeds to jet over to the Mount of Idols to have a few words with dear old dad. However, Perseus is informed by a dying Poseidon (Danny Huston) that Hades (Ralph Fiennes) and Ares (Edgar Ramirez) have enslaved Zeus in Tartarus (a dungeon beneath the underworld) and are draining his power so that they may free the titan Kronos.
The ‘reluctant’ hero Perseus soon embarks on an adventure (without reluctance…) to locate the second bullshit stereotype >> roguish criminal anti-hero who has certain skill set/know-how required to save universe – Agenor (Toby Kebbell) who, wouldn’t you know it…happens to be the son of Poseidon. Agenor also goes by the moniker – The Navigator (and there you have the specific skill set I mentioned earlier), and is tasked to find the fallen god Hephaestus (Bill Nighy) so that he may show them the way into the labyrinthine Tartarus.
…the ‘reluctant’ hero Perseus soon embarks on an adventure (without reluctance…) to locate the second bullshit stereotype…
That’s basically the gist of the story (and yes this review does contain spoilers), not the worst ever, except that it’s terribly generic and uninspired, and once again I don’t really understand where the ‘Titans‘ aspect comes in, because the only titan present in the film is Kronos. There were originally twelve titans to begin with, and many of them were imprisoned in Tartarus, so it’s not a wild assumption that when one hears ‘Wrath of the Titans‘ one would expect a bunch of them escaping to do battle with the gods, but nope, not in this film. So while Kronos does look pretty cool, he doesn’t really do much, portrayed in a rigid CG fashion and defeated before he can do any real damage…so lame. Zeus also notes that “the time of the gods is coming to an end” – gee, what’s the point of even offering Perseus a place amongst the gods if it was all going to end within a decade, a bit short-sighted on Zeus’ part, and well pretty stupid if you ask me. At one point, Perseus needs to do battle with Ares in order to get Zeus’ thunderbolt (in Ares possession mind you), and that brings me to bullshit stereotype number three >> reluctant hero’s loved-one used by bad guy as an exploited weakness, what!? No surely not! Didn’t see that one coming. To top it all off, they kill off all of the gods within the film save for Hades who will have to live out the rest of his life as a mortal man, so that’s a great idea, kill off the only likeable aspect of the film. On the plus side, killing off everyone increases the likelihood of there not being a third installment in this travesty of a franchise.
Wrath of the Titans is a shitty, convoluted mess of a film, loosely based on the myth of Perseus, light on story as the film leaps from one incoherent action sequence to the next and filled with uninspired, wooden acting. Makes me wonder what actors like Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes and Bill Nighy were thinking when they agreed to appear in a sequel of such a crappy film to begin with. Avoid.