Fast & Furious



Genre:  Action

Director:  Justin Lin

Running Time:  107 mins

Released:  3 April 2009

Plot:  Brian O’Conner, now working for the FBI in LA, teams up with Dominic Toretto to bring down a heroin importer by infiltrating his operation.


Well firstly, Fast & Furious is the fourth installment of the popular franchise (a fifth has been confirmed already) and as a fan of the series I decided to go watch the film expecting to see the usual amount of racing action and gorgeous woman as is stock with these films.  How wrong was I.

So the first minute of the film looks promising, Vin Diesel along with the rest of the old crew are present including, Han? Wait didn’t Han die in Tokyo Drift, that must mean that the opening sequence is set in the past, okay that’s fine.  So Dominic, his crew and Han are attempting to rob a petrol tanker and the usual sort of tactics are employed to do so, including driving stunts that would be impossible for human beings, but hey it’s an action film right?  Shortly after the stupid stunts, gloriously fucking bullshit CGI effects follow in the form of the tanker doing a fucking barrel roll down the road while being on fire, followed by more awkward-looking bullshit CGI explosions.  What the fuck?

Then the film switches to Bryan, who now seems to work for the F.B.I, wait a minute, what? Ok so now, the film must be set after 2 Fast 2 Furious since Bryan was no longer part of the police force and in that short space of time he became a fed…  Movie 1 – undercover cop who infiltrates Dominic’s little operation and thus fucks everyone over but lets Dominic escape at the end.  Movie 2 – Bryan is no longer a cop but gets roped into helping them anyway and now in the fourth film (Bryan wasn’t present in Tokyo Drift) he is an F.B.I agent, what bullshit is that, how is Bryan not in federal prison?!  After all the fucking shit he pulled!!

Moving on.  Setting the opening sequence in the past and showing Han was utterly useless, it has no bearing on the overall plot whatsoever, why even include Han, it’s so fucking stupid.  Why not just set the sequence in the present?  Another thing they did was kill off Letty who is like the hottest chick in the film.  Why are you such a bastard Justin Lin?!  Ah yes, let’s not forget the tunnel scenes.  At one point Dominic, Bryan and some other fucks who’s names’ I care not to mention go speeding through a narrow, labyrinthine-like tunnel moving at Star Wars pod racer speed, you’d need fucking Jedi reflexes in order to navigate those tunnels without becoming a red smear on the cave walls.

And here’s something that really sets this film apart from the rest in the series.  WHERE THE FUCK IS THE RACING??!!  The racing was always been the point of interest, the selling point of the franchise.  Now it’s some poorly strung together, half baked, generic, drug-themed plot that seems to have been conceived from some ass-hat high on meth.  IT”S FUCKING BULLSHIT!!

In closing, I’d have to say this is by far the worst film in an otherwise good series.  I shudder to think what new bullshit will be present in the fifth (and hopefully final) film.

Score 1/5