Uwe Boll – The German Film-butcher

Uwe Boll, known by some as the ‘put up or shut up’ German film director, infamous for adapting video games into god awful movies and then challenges those who criticise his films to a boxing match in order to prove who the superior filmmaker is.  Here’s a question, how in the fuck does boxing prove who the better filmmaker is?!  Are you fucking stupid Boll, seriously are you clinically retarded?

Most of the people in the film industry HATE you and let’s not forget the countless fans you have angered with your video-game to film adaptions.  Case in point with the Far Cry film, yet another game license you’ve destroyed which has been leaked online as from March 8, 2009 and guess what, it’s a piece of shit too.  Since when does Jack Carver have a thick German accent?  Do you even play the games that you’re basing your excuses for films on you fucking idiot??

Boll had expressed interest in making the World of WarCraft film but the owners of the franchise, Blizzard, turned him down.  Well I’d also tell him to fuck off after seeing his level of work, he’s like the Anti-Christ of film.

Boll was also interested in a Metal Gear Solid film, rumours were floating around that he had been given a script to read until news of this reached Metal Gear creator Hideo Kojima who responded with, “Absolutely not! I don’t know why Uwe Boll is even talking about this kind of thing.  We’ve never talked to him. It’s impossible that we’d ever do a movie with him.”

He later claimed that he only thought that he was doing the film because he was tricked by a couple of con artists from Konami.  That’s right, con artists people, that sounds like the kind of script he would write, BULLSHIT!!

A Metal Gear Solid film can only be pulled off by a talented director like Michael Bay or Zack Snyder with a budget of $100 million and up.  Thankfully it seems Boll will no longer be making ‘high’ budget blasphemies like ‘In the name of the King’ and will be restricted to straight-to-DVD bargain bin releases.  According to Reuters, “the tax sheltered loopholes that funded Boll’s previous films have been banned in Germany, making further high budget films unlikely”.  So if you’re a fan of any of the franshises he’s targeted for destruction and sodomy I’d advise that you boycott the films all together.

On a final note, fuck you Uwe Boll, you are a disgrace to the film industry and I wish you all the worst.

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